An Atheist's Reconfiguration

Five-and-a-half years have gone by since I wrote this post, discussing inter-faith conflict and how it had shattered any faith I might have had. Six months later, I followed it up by examining how those with faith see those without. A lot of things have changed in the five years between then and now, but the stance I put forward in these posts hasn't changed.

Still, five years don't often go by without some things changing. I'm older, I've graduated, I'm in a solid relationship and I'm living independently, like a proper grown-up and everything. And whilst I still define myself as an atheist, I'm arriving at this same conclusion from another angle, another direction. In short, I am an atheist with faith.

Allow me to break it down.

A Definition of Atheism

The following references are from Wikipedia. Not the most academic of sources, I know, but then I'm not trying to be academic here.

Firstly: what is atheism?

Atheism is, in a broad sense, the rejection of belief in the existence of deities.

To understand this definition, you need to understand what a deity is.

A deity is a recognized preternatural or supernatural immortal being, who may be thought of as holy, divine, or sacred, held in high regard, and respected by believers.

It's that first clause I have trouble with. A "preternatural or supernatural immortal being" - what exactly is that?

The supernatural is that which is not subject to the laws of nature, or more figuratively, that which is said to exist above and beyond nature.

In contrast to the supernatural, preternatural phenomena are presumed to have rational explanations that are, as of yet, unknown.

To me, nature covers everything that exists, everything that's real. I'm not just talking about plants and flowers and little hoppy bunnies - I mean the whole universe. All of spacey-wacey timey-wimey. I can't conceive of anything existing outside of time and space, outside of nature. If a god or gods are meant to exist above and beyond nature, then I just can't believe in them. It's not even that I won't - I can't.

That little term "preternatural", though... I'm reading that as a sort of get-out clause. That's theism saying "Well, we might be able to rationalise the existence of God one day, but we can't yet." My response is this: knowing what we now know about the laws of nature, about space and time and quantum physics and other over-arching scientific concepts, if the existence of a deity can't be rationalised now, then it never will be.

This is my explanation of my own brand of atheism, if you will. Other people's definitions will vary. I'm just talking about myself here.

Of Gods and Theists

God did not create Man. Man created God.

There are hundreds and thousands of reasons for mankind to have originated the concept of the "supernatural immortal being", but, in essence, a god is a manifestation - a personification, if you like - of will, of energy, of desire, of belief. I can put it no more simply than this: if you believe in God, only then will God exist. The more belief that there is in a god, the more power and credence that god will have. No belief means no god.

I hope that this explains why I don't look down on those that do believe in deities. Their belief makes their deity real. Said deity won't be real to me, because I don't believe in it. But that shouldn't make God less real to those who do believe. Who the hell would I be to interfere with someone else's beliefs? That's none of my business, just as my lack of belief is none of anyone else's.

Yeah, I know that because you're reading this right now, I am kinda sorta making it your business. But the underlying principle is to live and let live.

How I Regained My Faith

Now that I've provided a little backdrop to my essential beliefs, I can expand on that "with faith" part that must have looked a little contradictory back there.

Back when we first got together, Stat and I talked about religion and spirituality a lot. Stat has been pagan for a number of years, and the more he told me about his beliefs, the more they made sense to me - but not in a "wow, this is brand new thinking to me, I am now enlightened" sense. Quite the opposite, actually. It summed up what I'd been thinking and feeling all along.

Paganism doesn't concern itself with the hereafter / great beyond / life after death as much as it concerns itself with here and now. Our brief human lives are inextricably connected with the planet we live on, and by extension, the universe. When we do good, it should not be for selfish spiritual reward. It should be for the good of everything and everyone around us. Your actions have very real and very tangible results, and it is these consequences that need to be focused on.

It appealed to little old rational-headed me, so I decided to look into it. My path began in earnest on my 25th birthday, when Stat presented me, appropriately enough, with a goddess-themed tarot deck.

Here's how paganism works for me:

• I have to be constantly mindful of my connection to the earth and the universe. I'm just one part of a single energy source, so it's my duty to dedicate the energy I've been given to maintaining that source and everything else that depends upon it.
• I try my best to do no harm to anything or anyone. Sometimes, of course, it's impossible not to, but I have to mitigate it as much as possible.
• Instead of praying to an entity beyond nature and hoping that a certain course of action will take place as a result, I focus my will and desire into real and tangible objects and actions, by means of a little thing called spell-casting. What's more, I do this with the knowledge that if what I want is not meant to happen, it won't, and that's fine.

Pagan Gods

There are pagan gods and goddesses, of course. First and foremost is the Goddess, the feminine principle. See, paganism recognises that life cannot exist with the masculine principle alone. When it comes to creation, it argues that the female has more power than the male. The Goddess is honoured above the God. (Admittedly, that was another appeal that paganism had on little old feminist me.)

But beyond the Goddess, who is the manifestation of all female divinity, and the God, who is male divinity, paganism doesn't mind how many other gods or goddesses you place your belief in. Any and all pantheons are welcome - Greek, Roman, Norse, Celtic, Hindu, Egyptian and everything in-between. The Charge of the Goddess, an invocation common to many pagan ritual forms, begins:

Listen to the words of the Great Mother, who was of old called amongst men Artemis, Astarte, Dione, Melusine, Aphrodite, Cerridwen, Diana, Arianrhod, Bride, and by many other names.

The goddess tarot that Stat gave me contains representations of many pantheons, and each goddess represents just one aspect or element of the divinity to which we all belong. Divinity isn't something we should strive to attain - divinity is what we are, and all we have to do is realise it for ourselves.

An Atheist Pagan?

Now, don't be getting your noodle in a pickle. This will make sense in a moment... I hope.

Both myself and the faith I belong to are concerned with all things natural. A deity by the definition of a "supernatural immortal being" has no place in my particular interpretation of paganism. The pagan gods and goddesses are aspects of nature and reality. Indeed, the Goddess herself is the feminine principle - a concept that most definitely belongs in the natural universe.

Yet I remain atheist. I do not believe in gods or goddesses as separate entities with their own power or governance. They are avatars of abstracts, and it is the abstract I place my faith in, not the avatar.

Put it this way: I love Statley very much. I'm not in love with a picture of him, or a voodoo doll that kind of looks like him. Furthermore, I don't love him for how he looks or dresses or presents himself. It's his quintessential Stat-ness that I love.

And so it is with the feminine divinity. I do not love the Goddess, because she is an avatar. I love that which she represents. When I consult my tarot, the pictures of beautiful ladies I see are representations of aspects of the message the tarot is trying to give me.

Goddesses and gods are extremely useful concepts. Each one represents a lot of abstract concepts, and instead of going to great lengths to describe those aspects each time we want to invoke them, we just speak the name of the goddess that represents them. It's for that same reason that we each have names. Nobody calls me "crazy nerdy cat lady who likes anime and spicy food and writes massive theological essays at stupid o'clock in the morning". People call me Joey, because my name represents me and everything I am. My name isn't me, and the Goddess isn't the female principle. She represents it, and so pagans work with her name and image when they invoke it.

...I Have A Headache.

If you've stuck with me all the way to the end, you're brilliant. That was a monster effort. Still, it's nice to be able to write about how my faith works and what my own little take on the universe at large is right now. I say "right now" because this kind of thing is always subject to change. My beliefs are far from concrete, you know? And it's probably better that way.